worry wart

i'm a bit of a worry wart. i don't know why. my lonely mind gets into a crazy, unorganised and stressed place and i can't get out. about stupid things as well - global warming, being in the next air france flight to go under, car accidents. not the big stuff really. and sometimes, i just want to roll down a massive hill...scream, hit and run. i want to hurt you as much as you hurt me before. and every day i worry that you will repeat what you did before. i want to believe you, i really do, but i can't. you haven't proven to me that you're worth of my trust, or love. this kind of shit makes me lose faith in myself and what i want to do with my life. it's like nothing else really matters. and honestly, i don't need you - one day, you will be a blimp on my radar. a memory that i will treasure and hold close to my heart forever. i can't wait for that day.

X

as of late

as of late, i have been neck deep into design. folio handed in yesterday! went to uni to print everything on monday afternoon, and wow - the sheer amount of work everyone has put in this semester is incredible - so went home at 11.30pm and decided that i would do an axonometric. 5 surprisingly-not-so-painful hours later, i had a semi-passable axo. i had been quite apathetic about this folio. just not really feeling the stress or need to do quite so well - and i think this is positively affecting my health. sleeping well, eating (kind of) well, taking time out and relaxing.

this time around, things are different, believe it or not. it's fun. it's simple. and i feel much closer than before. i don't know if i am being sucked in to the same stupid trap, but i feel as though that life is good and i wouldn't change a thing at the moment. and i got a bit sad about leaving this morning - leaving what i've got here and being afraid of not finding it ever again (which in itself, is unlikely) ♥

my delicious emilio pucci gumboots came from melbourne last night! they fit perfectly, like a glove, and i just know that i will be wearing them twentyfourseven in the uk when the ground is too wet. their crazy zaha hadid-like designs will bring a splash of colour and life into what is usually a depressing, plain and function-orientated type of shoe.

rockpaperscissors

"i understand how scissors can beat paper, and i get how a rock can beat scissors, but there's no fucking way paper can beat rock. is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and keep it immobile? why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take notes in class? i'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody. a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. when i play rock paper scissors, i always choose rock. then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper i can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, i'm sorry, i thought paper would protect you, you asshole."

i'm in love

i'm in love - david chipperfield

for some reason, photographs aren't uploading but :

http://www.davidchipperfield.co.uk/