I will not be here for you if the only time you come to me is if you want something.

Doesn't understand.

I don't understand what suddenly happened on Tuesday. And since then, I haven't been able to get myself out of this rabbit hole that is my current state-of-mind. Thank god for noise cancelling earphones and Empire of the Sun. I couldn't bear to deal with WWII recounts on SBS in the background right now. 


I have found myself to question everything that I know. Everything that I thought was solid and true until the end of time, is no longer the case. Is this still reverse culture shock? Or am I overreacting? One day, she will tire of hearing my stories and my complaints. One day. And I refuse to test this theory soon. So, world wide web, you are now my soundboard. 


The only thing that makes me happy now is being away. Away from home. Away from uni work. Away from work. Away from parents. Away from life. Away from phone bills, credit card bills, superannuation payments, running clothes that judge you every day you don't wear them. And I wonder if I am turning into one of those who almost lives a double life. One who craves human contact so much that without it, suffers greatly and self destructs.


I'm almost excited for my exam tomorrow, so at least I can sit with my friends.
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