"Here's how the night will work.. Everybody will arrive at differing times, wearing their appropriate costume. Your stereotype will be assessed, and if deemed to be acceptable, we will chortle and allow you entry. Drinks will flow. Drinks will be spilt. Some clown will break a glass early and someone else will yell out "Taxi". Rob will clean up the said broken glass, whilst showing off his wolf undergarments. Some smart-alec tells us the place is messy. Rob hits them with a wooden spoon. The dancefloor will begin to swell. The music will get louder with each drink consumed. Someone inevitably falls off the balcony to their immediate death. Party rages on. Buster becomes intimidated by the poster of Hoff on the wall, and hence question his own manliness. Al will attempt to bring some food out, such as party pies and sausage rolls, however having never used the oven before, will just fry them instead, to great success. Someone will challenge Rob to a drinking contest. Half a second later, Rob finishes his drink. Twenty-five seconds later, the challenger finished their drink. Someone will try to put a hardcore song, which just won't fly with the hosts. Bon Jovi returns rightly to the stereo. It's way too good that someone spontaneously combusts. The smoke alarm goes off. Everybody panics. Calm is restored. The weaker people with less party fitness begin to fail. They crash on the couch. We sit on their face. Someone realises the kitchen doesn't contain a booth, which disappoints some. Someone spews in the toilet. Al uses the opportunity to record video on his new phone. Toilet paper runs out. Abrasive paper towels are brought in for the emergency. Crisis over. Someone decides to sleep in the stolen Coles trolley. Sun rises. Bodies strewn everywhere. Emma parties on with Al and Moorley, once again outdoing all of her brothers. Al tells hours of stories. Pancakes are made for breakfast. Rob crashes and Burns. Crash and Burn is put on. People leave exclaiming "those Kelly boys throw a cracking party!""
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